For The Moms Who Think Breastfeeding Shouldn't Be This Hard (An Update of my Life)

It's been a long six months.

But I persevered. It was difficult from the very beginning. I met with a lactation consultant the day after Lewis was born. She taught me the basics of breastfeeding, gave me some pamphlets, and sent me on my way. I was timing how long each session was (30-45 minutes from start to finish). Lewis struggled to stay awake while nursing and she assured me that this was normal. We just needed to take off his onesie and tickle his feet as he fed.

The struggle continued. My parents came into town to help Spencer and I transition into parenthood. We noticed that Lewis struggled to burp. A lot. My Dad was considered the "burp master" and even he couldn't get him to burp. We woke him up every 3-4 hours during the night to feed as Lewis struggled to get back to his birth weight (babies lose 10-15% of their weight after they're born). This was hard on Spencer and me.  I had a hard recovery ahead of me with my second-degree tear and three other tears, so he did most of the leg work. We were blessed that he got 8 weeks of paid paternity leave. We unswaddled him, took off his sleeper, and tried to get him to eat on one side. Then we tried to get him to burp. Over and over. And over and over. And over. Then he switched to the other side, repeat. Sometimes we were up for over an hour and a half. Then I struggled to fall back asleep.

To add more fuel to the fire, Lewis developed thrush at ten days old. My heart sank - no dropped, to the floor. Breastfeeding hurt even more. I wanted to throw in the towel so bad, but I persisted. I wanted to make it to one year so bad! If not, at least 6 months. I read online that it's possible that babies who get thrush could have a lip/tongue tie. We went to our pediatrician office to get medication for both of us. As she was inspecting Lewis's thrush I asked if he had a lip tie. She checked him and said that he was fine. Spencer and I both thought something was wrong, but I wasn't going to question our pediatrician.

Nystatin (the orally ingested thrush medication prescribed for him) created another, worse hurdle for us to overcome: acid reflux. Lewis did not take well to it and he began to spit up on everything even more. On Spencer, on me, in our bed, in his crib. Google was my handy dandy best friend so we learned to keep him upright for 15-20 minutes before putting him back down to sleep. I remember getting as little as one hour and 9 minutes before having to get him up again in the middle of the night. Those two weeks of him getting back up to birth weight plus the extra week of us both getting over thrush were HARD. But the acid reflux continued. He lived in sleepers for the first 2-3 months of his life as he kept spitting up on his clothes (and us) over and over again. We didn't want to take the time to pull a onesie over his head five times a day when we could just zip him up in a sleeper. There would be days where I would say, "It has been x days since he has last projectile vomited on me." I celebrated when he had gone more than two days sincevomiting.

The acid reflux didn't improve after we put him on acid reflux medication. It just continued. But we were told that reflux was normal when it came to newborns and that he'd grow out of it. I hated trying to burp Lewis on my shoulder. I wasn't getting anything out of him and it seemed pointless. Spencer would try and he seemed to do better at it. I even googled how to burp a difficult newborn and tried all of the methods that I read. There wasn't much relief found in those plethoras of Google pages. Sometimes they worked, but mostly they were a fruitless effort. I'm not exaggerating where I remember when Spencer was gone doing errands and I was trying to burp Lewis for ONE SOLID HOUR and I couldn't get anything out. The problem was, Lewis was incapable of continuing to feed if he had trapped air in his stomach. But I knew he was hungry, and I didn't want to starve my own child.

After my six week postpartum check-up, I went to see the lactation consultant because I was so lost. Lewis was spitting up so much milk, I was wondering if I was overfeeding him. I fire hosed her with a bunch of questions and all she did was check to make sure he was latching well. He ended up feeding perfectly for her (which never happens). She gave me some tips and sent me on my way. I remember she told me to never unlatch him because he'd do that when he was ready. Except why did he keep unlatching over and over again? Ironically enough, Lewis did manage to spit up all over her office before we left.

Not even two months after Lewis was born, he was diagnosed with cows milk protein allergy. I've been lactose intolerant since 2013-2014, and I was officially diagnosed in 2015. God was preparing me for his allergy, I couldn't give up breastfeeding now! Things started to make sense. The acid reflux medication wasn't helping because he was projectile vomiting from me consuming dairy. He wasn't burping as well because of his allergy. Soon after I went completely dairy-free, things were starting to look up. Things started to make more sense. His acid reflux started to improve the longer I went dairy-free. He was also easier to burp once he no longer had dairy in his system, and his gut was healing from the dairy. I finally had something to blame for my troubles and difficulties.

Unfortunately, though we saw some improvement, Lewis still didn't get back to normal. I accidentally consumed dairy through cross-contamination at Wendy's, Red Robin, and he consumed it through his oral vaccinations. Lewis would take a really long time to eat whenever he was awake, and I would always make the excuse of his dairy allergy, reflux, teething, or starting solids being the reason.

Within the last three weeks, there were a few turning points that finally made me think that enough was enough.

First, Lewis has been sitting upright. He understands that he can burp himself. This is a good and bad thing. When I put him on my shoulder to pat his back, I have about a 10% success rate when it comes to getting a burp out of him. This led to me just waiting for him to burp himself. If I got impatient and tried to feed him, he would have trapped air in his stomach and he would spit up all over me. 

Second, I asked one of my Facebook Mom groups if anyone had any problems with their baby burping if they had gotten 'dairyed'. Since I thought that he was easier to burp when we were dairy-free, and harder to burp when his digestive system was damaged. Bless this Mom, but she asked if his latch was good, as he would be inhaling excessive air if it was bad. That resulted in me trying to make sure he was latching well for about a week. Well, that didn't really work so well.

Third, I was seeing everywhere that one is supposed to introduce solids one hour after a feed. I was confused. How am I supposed to introduce solids when on average takes me over an hour to make sure Lewis is eating enough? Sometimes it would take the entire wake window to try and get him to burp and he wouldn't. He was only awake on average for 2 hours. Something must not be right here.

An example of a feed:

10:07 a.m. 1 minute (this could be anywhere from 1:01 to 1:59)

10:08 11 seconds

10:19 19 seconds

10:30 27 seconds

10:31 6 seconds

10:32 14 seconds

10:33 4 seconds

10:40 1 minute

10:42 1 minute

10:53 4 seconds

I tried again later...

11:16 13 seconds

11:18 5 seconds

...and again.

11:42 3 minutes

11:46 5 seconds

11:46 5 seconds

11:57 56 seconds

11:58 11 seconds

11:59 8 seconds

12:00 25 seconds

I know what you're thinking, "Emily, why are you forcing Lewis to eat when it's obvious that he's not hungry?" Well, I've been tracking how much he eats for his entire life. I've noticed that if he eats any less than 9-11 minutes in between naps, he's hungry right before he goes down for a nap and whines. (This number also goes down the older he gets as he gets more efficient.) If I gave up and try to put him down for a nap before 9 minutes, he would cry until I get him up and feed him. This pushed his nap back, he got overtired and didn't sleep well. Time and time again. 

Lastly, as Lewis got older, becoming more aware, I noticed him getting really frustrated that he couldn't eat like he wanted. He got really cranky, and my frustration fed off of his. I started to do some research and saw the Lip and Tongue Tip Support Facebook Group. I joined it and started to read through all of the posts. That's when I realized, "Spencer and I were right all along, he has a lip tie!" A wave of relief went over my body - to the point of tears. I finally knew the missing piece to the puzzle. His lip tie has been causing him to swallow excessive air, his difficulty to burp, and his bad reflux. I remember seeing Moms nurse with a cover not having to fight to get their baby to eat, and realized that is how it's supposed to be.

On the 17th of July, we took Lewis to a pediatric dentist and confirmed he had lip and tongue ties. We got those ties released on the same day and started on the road to recovery. Lewis had to learn how to feed all over again, using different muscles. If we had gotten this done when we originally suspected lip tie at two weeks, I wouldn't have had to go through so much pain. Lewis would have only had to forget two weeks of experience instead of 6 1/2 months.  While it wasn't a fix overnight, Lewis is improving and I'm not spending 6+ hours a day trying to feed him anymore. Lewis did not begin eating correctly until he was over 6 months old. Spencer did the math. I spent an extra 1,000 hours trying to feed/burp Lewis because of his lip and tongue tie. 1,000 hours of patience, frustration, love, and heartache.

Since Lewis was on my shoulder for so long day after day trying to get those impossible burps out, I had to resort to bi-weekly chiropractic adjustments since Lewis was 2 1/2 months old. At the end of April, I started to go to physical therapy bi-weekly as my body was breaking. It literally hurt to pick up Lewis from his swing, his crib, or even off the ground. I felt hopeless and depressed, thinking I was an incapable mother who couldn't even care for her own child. Spencer had to help me in everything that I did. While COVID-19 has been an awful and scary experience, I am so grateful that Spencer has been working from home because of it. Since if he hadn't, I would have injured my weakened body even more. 

 

I didn't think motherhood was supposed to be this hard. We didn't understand everyone who was telling me that "this" was "normal" when we most definitely didn't think it was. We believe that everyone should take first-time parents more seriously. But, I have learned a lot from these last six months. God has put all of these trials in my path and I am shocked to know how far I can stretch and grow. I didn't know I had all of this patience when it came to breastfeeding. As I was reading more about lip ties, the majority of moms who were unaware of their baby having a lip tie switch to formula after struggling for up to 1-2 months. I don't blame any of those moms for doing what they had to do, because it's been hard. But I am so glad that we finally figured out the main reason why I've been struggling these past six months. I'm glad that I didn't quit.

I "graduated" from physical therapy today. It has been a long, fulfilling three months. I no longer feel hopeless, depressed, or incapable as a Mom. I feel stronger, full of hope for the future, and that I can handle being a mom. It's been a long journey as I've progressed in being independent and taking care of Lewis by myself. But for Lewis, I would go through anything. Here's to the next six months.

What's in a Name?

It's been exactly three years since a very important milestone happened to me. It all started Fall semester in 2016 where I took my first family history-genealogy class at BYU.

We had to search through our family tree to  for our semester project. I came across this infant who didn't have a first name or a gender. All I knew was the infant's last name- Potter.

I saw my cousin, Chelsie who had found the gravestone of his birth and death in 1893, along with the child's parents names. She searched diligently, but couldn't find Potter's name or gender. We both felt like he was a boy, but had no record of it.

I searched countless microfilm church records in Omaha, Nebraska in hopes of finding a christening record, but no luck. I felt defeated, but Potter always came to the front of my mind as I did family history each time. I knew that he desperately wanted to be together with his family. There would be random times throughout the week where I would hear a voice pop into my mind pleading, "Don't forget about me!" I vowed that I wouldn't.

The semester came and went with no progress. During the next semester, I was reminded the census records sometimes show the street where families lived. Unfortunately, the 1890 U.S. census was burned. Therefore, I had to rely on the 1900 U.S. census instead. I prayed that the parents hadn't moved in those 7 years after his birth.

I was in luck! I found out where the parents lived, and started to search for churches that were established before 1893 and within a one mile radius of where the Potters lived. There was one particular Catholic church that fit those two requirements. I emailed them with the information that I had, and patiently waited.

By the time I had given up on the search a couple months later, I received an email from them when I was in one of my history classes. I read the email explaining that they had found a record of a boy named Lewis Potter, the ancestor that I had been looking for. There was a burst of joy inside my heart, and I wanted to shout it to the world! Unfortunately, due to being in class I was unable to.

A couple days later on 16 February 2017, Spencer, Chelsie, her husband Dylan, and I went to the temple to seal Lewis to his parents- Michael and Viola. The feeling that we had in that room was so indescribable- full of love and happiness. I hadn't felt that much joy since I was sealed to Spencer. I felt the Potter's witnessing their son to be sealed to them forever. I couldn't hold back the tears because I could feel the immense joy of this family. I knew that Lewis Potter was so grateful for all the hard work and effort I had put into finding him.

This experience made me decide to change my major to family history that same evening. Lewis Potter is a kindred spirit. He left such a big impact on our lives, Spencer suggested the name the day we found out we were having a boy. I hadn't even thought of Lewis as an option, but it felt like a good way to commemorate my ancestors. I can't wait to meet him in the spirit world. I bet my son had already met him before he came to this world.

And that's why I to graduated in Family History-Genealogy. To bring together families and create joy. Without this experience, I'm not sure Spencer and I would have agreed on a name together. But thankfully this experience also led us to name our son Lewis Wesley Hoffman, after Lewis Potter. We couldn't have come up with a better name for him!

Our New Beginning

On January 6th, I had my 39 week check up. A check up I never thought I'd go to since none of my sisters have made it past 38 weeks and 4 days with any of their pregnancies. I even told my OB that I didn't think I'd make it and I think she agreed with me. I predicted that Lewis would be born on January 3rd, but that day came and went. Spencer and I were trying to naturally induce labor by going on walks, eating spicy food, bouncing up and down on a rickety playground bridge, the works! 

At my 39 week appointment, she checked and said that I was dilated to a 5, and fully effaced. I told her that I desperately wanted to be induced, and we were even ready to go downstairs to start the induction after the appointment. Originally she mentioned Thursday, but we ended up planning for Tuesday, January 7th. The 7th sounds like a good day for a birthday! We were told to call Labor and Delivery at 6 am to see when we should go in. 

Although I took melatonin before bed, I only managed to get 3 hours of sleep. I couldn't get comfortable as my body was aching all over, unable to find a comfortable sleeping position for more than 5 minutes. Spencer tried his best to help me fall asleep, but Lewis kept moving around that kept me up. He was having a dance party because he knew he was being born soon! From 5-6 am, I was up because he had the hiccups the entire time, moving my stomach around.

I checked the clock at 5:58 and I accepted the fact that that was all the sleep I was going to get. I didn't dare to check my Fitbit to see how much sleep I got since I knew I had a long day ahead of me. I called Labor and Delivery and they told us to be there at 7:45 am. Spencer made us waffles as I was supposed to have a light breakfast.

In the car, I called them again and apologized for being late, but that we were going to get there at 8 am. They laughed and said not to worry, and that they’ll be expecting us. We got there and had to do a ton of paperwork. I got into my gown and they started to hook me up to a bunch of machines. One for my contractions and one for Lewis’s heart rate. They also took my blood so they could compare my blood levels post labor.

Shortly after being hooked up I was told that I just had a contraction. I soon learned that I was naturally having contractions 7 minutes apart. I was confused since I didn’t feel like I was having contractions. I was so used to Lewis kicking me so much, I just thought those moments of discomfort were him moving around. So if I had waited for 24-48 more hours, I could have had him naturally and it could have been pretty bad. I may have had him in the car since I could not tell what the contractions felt like. I feel really lucky that I decided to be induced even if it seemed a little silly with how far along I was. I had two really intense contractions the Saturday previous, so that’s what I was looking for when it comes to timing contractions. Looking back, my OB told me that if I was having contractions 7-8 minutes apart for 30-45 minutes, lasting 30-45 seconds, I should come to the hospital right away. I don't think I was having them for that long, but it seemed like I was going to have Lewis with or without the induction soon!

I was pretty worried about getting my IV, since having a tube in me constantly was pretty nerve wracking. But we had a really good nurse named Jen and she did a stellar job. She told me that she was going to inject some numbing fluid so it wouldn’t hurt as bad. I thought the IV was more like a 2 out of 10. But I really didn’t like looking at the IV so I hid it. It was around 9 am by the time it was in. So. Much. Fluid.

After that, they checked to see how far along I was, and I was still dilated to 5 cm. They needed to see how far away I was from 10, so being halfway wasn't too shabby! The Pitocin was placed in my IV around 9:30 am. I was pretty bored most of the time while I was slowly learning what a contraction felt like. It was interesting since I could feel them coming before the monitor showed it appearing like mountains. I never realized how slowly this part of the induction takes.

(The timing on everything gets all blurry from here. I just know the epidural and getting my waters broken was an hour apart.)

I got my epidural around 1? pm, and honesty it was NOT that bad. The anesthesiologist was super nice and talked me through everything. I was slouched over a table on the side of the bed while he numbed me up real good. I was very still, and I’m pretty proud of myself since people kept saying how big of a needle it is. Good thing I didn’t see it! That probably would have freaked me out if I did.

When Jen and my OB were getting ready to break my water around 2? pm, they looked at me and said that my water was leaking. I admitted to them that since I was getting so much fluid from the IVs, I just thought it was urine! I still don’t know if my waters started to break because of the cervix check at the very beginning, or if it was honest to goodness breaking naturally. They checked to see if I had any progress, and I was now 6 cm dilated. Now, we continued to wait. 

As the contractions got worse, I focused on them more as they were more uncomfortable. I’m not entirely sure how long after my water broke before I needed to get a second dosage of my epidural. I had two particularly awful contractions that brought me to tears. I was feeling the contraction in my lower back and in the front so I was in a lot of pain. Once the second dose started to kick in, I got really sleepy. They told me to rest on my side and it was great! I didn’t feel any contractions, despite them getting more and more intense. Spencer was watching them on the monitor and I wasn’t stirring at all. The beauty of an epidural. I was hoping I’d get some sleep, but since I was constantly hooked up to a blood pressure monitor that didn’t happen. It continually took my blood pressure every 10 minutes or so. I was completely dilated 7 minutes to 4 pm.

My nurse Jen predicted that Lewis was going to be born around 6 pm. I really hoped that she was wrong because I did not want to wait that long! I was also getting bored of drinking juice and eating jello for my diet. I wanted something else. I was completely

At 4:15 pm was the time to push. Since Lewis was so low, everyone in the room saw his head quickly after the first attempt. I asked Spencer later on about my pushing, and he told me I was progressing toward crowning with each push. Jen told me when to deeply inhale (and hold) and then push for ten seconds during each contraction. Then I'd rest in between each contraction. We did this for a few contractions. I felt like blood veins were popping out of my forehead. I kept getting encouragement that I was doing great. I wasn't sure if they were lying to me or if they meant it. I even said that out loud and they said they were being honest.

Jen told someone to get my OB and she asked Jen if I was crowning. She said no, but that I would be soon. During the next contraction my OB asked to push and I did. She exclaimed, "Wow, you're a good pusher." They got my legs up in this contraption so they were more stable and others didn't have to hold them up. Spencer got into his gown along with everyone else since we planned on him catching Lewis. They started to prep all of the equipment, tables, etc., and to me that felt like FOREVER.

Funnily enough, I really wanted him born at 4:37 (also Spencer's prediction) and saw the clock at 4:35 pm. I thought, "that's not going to happen". He was literally born at 4:37:58 with a little cry as his head appeared. There was a pause, and then the rest of his body came out in the same push. I thought, “That’s it?” It’s AMAZING how epidurals work, since I didn’t feel a THING. (But I now feel everything with this recovery.) I think Spencer started to catch Lewis as his body descended. I'm sure he was super slippery! It was pretty cool that he was able to experience that. I would have felt a little silly if he was holding my hand as I pushed, which was my original idea. Births on TV are so unrealistic...

Lewis was put on my abdomen with a towel around him. I don't remember who cleaned him up, but they did that quickly as I stroked his head and little arms. He was pretty precious looking. :) Lewis held my left thumb as I touched his hand and didn't let go at all until he had to get measured and weighed. I thought it was super sweet as him holding my thumb calmed him down. Someone announced that Lewis' Apgar score was 9/10, only a point off because his hands and feet were a little purple. Another someone (same someone?) mentioned that they've only seen three babies with that score. I guess Lewis is pretty perfect!

We got to do skin to skin for over an hour. I don't remember really much of anything specific post labor other than it was great. :) The placenta was delivered easily, Spencer cut the cord, Lewis fed for the first time, and they had to stitch me up for over 45 minutes. Spencer also did skin to skin and it was happy to see him be an official father for the first time. And that was the start of our new beginning.
Total labor time: 7 hours and 47 minutes

Pregnancy Brain At Its Worst (Best?)

Pregnancy Brain— the feeling of forgetfulness, inattention, and mental fogginess that sometimes accompanies pregnancy— is a common complaint.

I thought I was bad when it came to pregnancy brain in the second trimester, but earlier this week I had a series of events one day that really indicated that I'm losing it.

The first indicator: (Slightly TMI depending on who you are.) I nonchalantly threw my pad into the clean toilet instead of the trash can next to the toilet. I stopped and took a double take on what I had just done.

Why in the world did I do that?! -huffy sigh- I grudgingly fished it out and threw it into the trash where it belongs.

Not even two minutes later, I was doing a poor job of paying attention while plugging my phone into an outlet near the bathroom sink. Things went flying. The soap falls into the sink, my toothbrush almost falls into the trash, and my small hair claw jumps its way into the toilet.

I mutter to myself how ridiculous this was. I snatched the floating hair claw and threw it into the trash as I had many to spare as I had no desire to wash it.

I plugged in my phone since I wanted to use it while taking a bath to help my aches and pains. I turn on the shower to create some steam and went back to texting my Mom.

...But I had forgotten one important detail. About five minutes later I look over, wondering why the tub wasn't filling up at all.

I realized I didn't plug the tub in the first place! No wonder why starting this bath was so easy! Usually I have to put some work into plugging the tub, or I have to ask Spencer to plug it for me. I sighed in defeat and decided that my brain is not working as well as it used to.

Later on in the evening, I didn't even notice my pregnancy brain until Spencer mentioned it to me. I was craving some onion rings, so naturally, we made onion rings.

I put them nicely on the cookie sheet while the oven was preheating... and then walked away to go do something else.

The funny thing is after I left the kitchen I set a timer on my phone to flip the onion rings halfway through. Ironically, I can't remember if I assumed Spencer was going to put the onion rings into the oven after it had finished preheating (but apparently it had finished while I was putting them on the sheet) or if I thought I had put them in the oven myself. I can't remember.

As we were flipping the onion rings, I told Spencer that I usually don't put the onion rings in for the whole 15-18 minutes. I usually take them out early because they're usually done by then. He asked me if they were good when I take them out *x amount of time* early. ...I repeated my most common phrase, "I don't remember."

I can't wait for this pregnancy brain to go away!

Swimming with Humpback Whales: The Good and the Bad

Monday morning was pretty busy for us since we had to check out at Sandy Beach as we were staying at their sister resort Matafonua for one day next. We also had to eat breakfast and be ready to go out to the boat by 8:30. (We had been sleeping in a lot so this was especially difficult for lil ol' pregnant me.)

Pancakes! While I've been a waffle girl, I've been wanting pancakes this pregnancy.

We get on the boat and I put my wet suit on. Spencer didn't wear his since he thought the water was warm enough. It was a smaller group compared to the rest of the boats that also went out. We were split in Group A or B. One of our instructors told us that each time a group went out, one of the people could do a double and stay out another turn. We would rotate who did a double to make it fair.

The boat on the right is the kind of boat we were on.

Spencer was the designated picture taker. I think he did a fabulous job! My snorkeling mask was a problem because no matter how tight I made it, the part around the eyes would flood and I got sunscreen AND salt water in my eyes. It was not a grand ol' time.

Google photos made these first two. Baby whales love to spin!

The first time we went out there was a mama whale and a baby whale. Whales go to Tonga to give birth between July and October, and we just happened to go in the middle of whale season in September. Perf! 

Baby whales go up for air more frequently than the mama whales, but Spencer got to see a mama whale go up to the surface and see how HUGE she actually was (I didn't get that luxury since we ended up being in the opposite group as I gave him my double.) It was tiring.

We would only stay with a whale for about 90 minutes to make sure we weren't bothering them. After 90 minutes we would find another whale and park our boat near them. If they didn't seem to be bothered after five minutes or so, we would get out of the boat and swim toward them. Most of the time they didn't mind us gawking at them, but other times they would swim away and we'd try to swim after them. Either we'd catch up to them and have the 90 minute session, or we'd find another whale.

WHALES SWIM SO FAST. My pregnant body couldn't keep up! I didn't realize how tiring swimming with whales would actually be!  The instructor came out with us each time, and she noticed I was trailing behind after one whale was swimming away from us. She offered me to grab her 'rescue tube' while she swam for me. (I'm grateful she mentioned that anyone could do this if they were tired, so I didn't feel too bad. But I'm pretty sure I was the only one who had to latch on.)

Spencer said he felt the shock wave of the tail moving.

We found another mama and baby whale, I love these pictures (below) as the baby wants to swim so close to mama and be protected. We could hear them make noises too.

Both going up for air.

Another set of pictures of a whale:

Baby whale:

Videos (may be a little shaky):

At the very end of our whale swimming trip, I finally decided that I had enough energy to stay and do a double because I was already out in the water. I was SO glad that I did. It was one of the coolest experiences of the trip! The baby whales are more likely to get close to you than the mama whales. They like to play and show off. As a baby whale came up for air, (we'll just call her 'she') she got really close to all of us. We're supposed to maintain a distance of 5 meters away, but I'm pretty sure I was within 10 feet of her. I felt like I was in the prime spot since she was just staring at me with one of her eyes. It was crazy that she was acknowledging that I (and the rest of us) were there. What an ending!

Other pictures:

Such a cool picture of a mama whale!

We were getting off the boat around 4 p.m., and while we were getting back to shore is when I started to realize that Spencer was getting burned... and so did I. We didn't think too much about it since we had other plans for the rest of the day. After we checked into Motafonua, we tried to get bikes to get to one of Spencer's areas. Unfortunately, the front desk they said we couldn't because they don't check out bikes after 5 p.m. Instead of trying to find members to make and have dinner with, we had BBQ dinner. Around this time we really didn't think our burns were going to get super bad, but they did!

After dinner, we spent the rest of the evening tending our burns. Spencer's entire back and shoulders was super red (and other places developed later on) and my face, feet, and hands were burned. One of the reasons I got burned was because I didn't want to put more sunscreen on my face while my snorkel wasn't working. It would have gotten into my eyes and continued to burn. Apparently we didn't stay in the shade long enough! The spirit prompted me to pack a trial sized container of aloe vera, so we quickly got to work with putting it on.

This was only the beginning of the bad burns....

I woke up in the middle of the night and I couldn't fall back asleep for about two hours. I ended up crying and woke up Spencer. He gave me a blessing for my headache, pains, and my sunburn. I did some research on my phone and found out a cold towel on a burn would help. I ended up getting one of Spencer's shirts wet and laid it on his back. I tried doing the same thing for my face but it wasn't very successful. But thanks to his blessing I ended up falling asleep a little bit quicker than I expected. Didn't sleep super great but it was better than nothing.

...Am I going into early labor?

Yesterday was just an average Tuesday. I'm scheduled to go see my OB every two weeks for a check up to see how everything is going. It's usually very boring, as I usually wait for the doctor than the check-up itself. But not today!

Baby Hoffman has been moving a TON the past week or two. I've been feeling him stretch out his legs against my sides and he'll leave his feet there. After he moves, that same spot he was stretching out aches and it hurts to the touch. A day earlier last week, I couldn't get him to fall asleep until after 3 a.m., which meant I didn't get to sleep until after 3 a.m. Something tells me I'm going to have my hands full after giving birth...

As usual, my doctor started to measure Baby Hoffman's heart rate. But instead of moving on and telling me he sounds great, an awkward silence fills the room. 

"When a baby has a high heart rate it's not always a cause for concern, but I need to get another doppler ultrasound in order to get his exact heart rate. I'll be right back." 

She comes back quickly and continues to measure the heart rate. Then she explained to me that his heart rate is around 180-190, but has gotten as high as 200. My doctor told me that a baby can't handle that heart rate for a long period of time, and that he might have a medical condition. She left the room to call a high risk doctor to fit me in to get an ultrasound to see what was going on with his heart.

Now this is when I stared to panic.

"A baby can't handle a high heart rate? Is he distressed?"

"The way she worded it sounded like he's going to have heart failure and die if his heart rate continues this way."

"Spencer texted me before the heart monitoring what's the address to the hospital. Did he get a spiritual prompting that something is wrong and he's going to race over here because I'm going into early labor?"

"Well I guess he couldn't complain about having a birthday close to Christmas, he'll be born near Thanksgiving instead!"

"I don't have ANYTHING ready when it comes to giving birth!"

#uneducatedfirsttimeMom

My doctor came back and told me they can't fit me in to get an ultrasound. Instead, I'm going to get hooked up to a monitor to see if Baby Hoffman's heart rate goes down within the next 10-15 minutes. I also may need to come back next week instead of two weeks.

The nurse took me to a very comfy chair in a private room and strapped me in, so to speak. I felt a little bit better when I heard her say, "Now he's cooperating."

They leave me be and the monitoring continues. A long piece of paper is coming out of the screen that reminds me of a lie detector test. But then, the beeping starts.

Beeping is never good at a hospital. I strained my neck to see his heart rate going back up to over 170. (I googled that the average heart rate is between 120-160.) It continued to beep while I tried to ignore it while writing in my journal as a distraction. 

Soon, another nurse came in to check on me and admitted that it's better to have a high heart rate instead of a low one. She looked at the paper and left. The beeping stopped and continued for 10 more minutes. 

My doctor came in and observed the paper. She put her hand on her heart, while relieved, "It looks a lot better than I expected. It's going to be fine. He's just a really hyper baby! That's one thing we've learned about him today." She asked if we could continue the monitoring and I agreed. I wanted as much data as possible to make sure everything was okay. I later found out that I was monitored for almost 40 minutes instead of 10-15!

I heard the door open and close a lot throughout the monitoring, but often no one came in. I saw the heart rate get up to 181 once, but I was free to go when I was told he was more in the safe zone than not. I don't have to come in next week after all. As I gathered my things, I overheard a nurse outside talking about me, "I kept going into the room because all of the beeping, but it would stop right as I walked in!"

Today, I am grateful that we know (so far) that Baby Hoffman doesn't have a heart condition. I am also grateful that I didn't have to go into emergency labor (which probably wasn't even a possibility in my doctors' eyes.) #uneducatedfirsttimeMom

Tonga Part Two: Small Airplane, Roasted Pig, Getting Locked In

Friday

The first day in Tonga we woke up to roosters at 6:30 a.m. ...This was a regular occurrence. We managed to get back to sleep. Our AirBnb host, Isi made us breakfast (one of the reasons why we chose this place: it also was a good price, had hot(ish) water.) This is when I quickly learned that Tongan food doesn't taste the same. There was toast, boiled eggs, watermelon, papaya, pineapple, hot cocoa (made out of Nesquik), and small bananas (also known as lady fingers even though they're short and fat). The peanut butter toast tasted different because there wasn't as much sugar in the peanut butter as I was used to. Sooo I gave it to Spencer and stuck to buttered toast. 

Since we were only going to be in Tongatapu until Saturday, we didn't get a rental car. We started to walk down one street to jog Spencer's memory and found a member who Spencer remembered. She told us where the stake president lived nearby. Since Latu is the stake president, he could tell Spencer who moved and who was still in Tongatapu.

They let us in, and this is where I got to see Spencer's Tongan shine. I took half a semester of Tongan over a year ago, which didn't help much. I got a few words but that's about it (I understood more as the trip progressed). Spencer caught up with them and asked about multiple people and how they were doing (while I enjoyed sitting on the couch as it was humid).

Latu's wife, Fono drove us around as she was picking up her kids at the Liahona school. It was fun to see the temple and more of Tonga. This is when I learned that seat belts are not a thing in Tonga.

Yes, yes that is a little boy in the front seat!

The school was under construction.

A statue that was at the school.

Across the street from the temple is the mission office. We liked this sign. :)

PHOTO DUMP. (Not necessarily all from this day, but I was constantly taking pictures as I was in cars.)

Fono drove us around a bit and we met up with Simima. She's a devote Methodist while a lot of her family are members of the church.  She updated him on her family and took a picture with him.

Later on in the evening, we had dinner with Fono and Latu. I love the bananas in Tonga as they're so much sweeter (I miss them very much). They also made us a chicken soup dish with corn, peas, and green beans. For once I actually liked green beans! I was curious on how Fono seasoned the dish, but apparently it was just paprika and black pepper. So... that was embarrassing. But the color of the broth was NOT the color of paprika and black pepper.

Saturday

We woke up and found out that the power was off. We originally thought our fan broke (a must for sleeping in Tonga) but thankfully it was only the power. After going back to sleep and eating breakfast, we packed up for our flight to Ha'apai!

Fono took us to the airport and saw one of her friends, Lupe. After we checked in, we started talking to her and became immediate friends. (This is the epitome of Tongan hospitality.) Lupe has 11 kids, and some of them live in Utah. It was fun seeing pictures of them and hearing her stories. We talked (some in English and some in Tongan) up until we had to get ready to get on the plane.

Lupe offered to help us get food/linner after we arrived in Ha'apai and to take us wherever we needed to go. She also invited us to Sunday dinner at her son's place where they would roast a whole pig! Spencer was pretty excited about that, and I was too.

We got outside and I thought this was our airplane:

But nope, that's too big.

I don't think I've ever been in such a small airplane. We ended up sitting in the first row- 1B and 1C. I was 1C so I got the window seat, which was as close to the propeller as possible. It was not a good trip.

Pre- take off.

I almost forgot my ear plugs as we checked out of our Airbnb, so I shoved my ear plugs in my purse instead of my suitcase. Those ear plugs happened to be my saving grace! The propeller vibrations were so loud, it was hurting my ears. I put the ear plugs in and made it more manageable, but still unpleasant. The vibrating was rattling my stomach and Baby Hoffman was freaking out wondering what the heck was going on. I was also smelling the planes fumes and other unsavory smells as my nausea got worse. No one was talking on the plane because you couldn't hear anyone.

I felt very sick and twenty minutes on the plane felt like an hour. I communicated with Spencer through typing on my phone. The last fifteen minutes Spencer took my seat, so I was in the middle of the plane right behind the pilots.

Spencer took this photo after we switched seats.

I was grateful there wasn't much turbulence since anything would have tipped me over the edge. As we landed, I knew I was going to throw up (and I did). I'll spare the details for the faint of heart.

So... this next part is a funny story...

Once we got off the plane, I went to the bathroom ... and I ended up getting locked into a bathroom stall. I kept twisting and turning the lock both ways, but the lock was broken and wouldn't budge. I inspected the stall and saw that the stall wall was way too low for me to shimmy underneath. I may be skinny, but not THAT skinny.

Stall from the outside

I tried to fix the lock again and no luck. I decided that I was going to need to jump over the wall so I could be released from this awful prison. At least the bathroom didn't smell bad! I put my purse on a "T section" of the wall up top and started my ascent.

Yup, that's where I put my purse.

I tested the toilet to see if it would hold my weight and it worked. I then checked to see if the toilet paper holder was sturdy enough as the wall was way too tall for me to jump over without the holders help. I was very grateful that I'm small and wasn't super pregnant yet! I contemplated taking a picture halfway between the two stalls, but decided against it. Just in case someone was going to come into the bathroom and see me scale the wall while taking a picture. I managed to get my foot onto the other toilet paper holder in the adjacent stall and stepped down onto the toilet. Didn't even want to think about the last time someone had cleaned those stalls.

The fact that I was feeling really sick and I went through that just makes me laugh now. Who would have thought I would have locked myself into a bathroom stall in Ha'apai?!

Soon after, Lupe asked how the flight went and I admitted to them that I threw up. Lupe gave me a roll from her bag and her Mom gave me some Sprite. They were so sweet and were trying to make sure I was feeling better. Aren't Tongan's great?! They took us to get some fried chicken, but honestly I had no appetite. The Sprite and a roll was enough.

We got dropped off at Kasimi and Serena's house. Kasimi was Spencer's ward mission leader when he was serving in Koulo. He remembered Spencer and was excited to see him. I was pretty tired as I didn't get great sleep, so they offered me to sleep on their bed while Spencer and Kasimi went  around the neighborhood to catch up with people. How I slept with pigs and dogs fighting, plus kids making a ton of noise, and Serena cleaning (as quietly as she could), I don't even know.

Serena and Kasimi. We spent a lot of time in that car!

I woke up after an hour long nap and Kasimi drove us around to see other people. We saw Kasimi's brother and his family.

The brothers look very similar!

We saw someone who Spencer taught as well.  She had a kitty! Unfortunately, I did not get a picture of said kitty.

We also went to see the stake president and his family.

After all that, Kasimi drove us to Sandy Resort, the place we were staying next.

The best picture I could get of the sign while in a moving vehicle.

Surprise! We got there ten minutes before dinner was supposed to start. At our dinner table was Freddy and Suzanne- a young couple from Sweden, but they live in New Zealand. They're divers and enjoy traveling a lot.

The room we stayed in at Sandy Beach.

The view from the porch area.

What our bed looked like when we waked in. All real flowers! I was very disappointed since I was going to keep some of the flowers and the maids took them away when they cleaned our room the next day...

Sunday

Originally, we were planning on biking to church since we got to use them for free at Sandy Beach. But Kasimi told us that he would be happy to drive us to church. At church, the conductor welcomed both of us over the pulpit since we were visiting. :) I told Spencer I thought he was going to ask him to speak. Later on, I was right as he was asked to say a few words to the congregation. Of course I have no idea what he said since he said it in Tongan! He translated what he said to me later on.

We took quite a few pictures after church (the majority of them are blurry since 10 year olds were taking them). I love how Tongans love being in pictures.

After pictures, we were outside chilling in the shade as Spencer was looking through his planners trying to see who he wanted to visit in Koulo. I was tired and was pretty comfy lying out on the grass (it is SO soft there) while Spencer put his list together. A girl named Mele came up to us and said that she wanted us to come back to her house. Additionally, I could rest at her place (we had briefly been to her place earlier that day). We agreed, and her mother ended up helping Spencer a lot with who was where in Tonga. While this happened, I slept on their couch. Two naps in two days at complete strangers (to me) houses!

You see that couch behind us? Yup, that's the napping couch.

After my nap, Mele started to walk with us to show us where everyone lived. One of the families remembered Spencer and was excited to see us. It was fun to see them catching up with Spencer.

It was about time to go to Lupe's for the pig feast, but we didn't have her number and only gave her ours. Their son, Sione (far left) knew where Lupe was staying and offered to drive us there. When we arrived, Lupe said it wasn't ready yet. This mean we had time to explore Sandy Beach before she would call us and say they're on their way to pick us up!

Spencer and I went to try and find the petroglyphs (scroll down on this link to see more info) and it was pretty fun although we didn't find them. We saw some cool rocks, creatures, (and some very creepy, HUGE spiders), and Spencer found a dead crab.

What a nice face Spencer is making!

This was ALL coral

One of my favorite pictures of this trip.

After exploring, we had dinner with Lupe and her family. It was my first time with pig skin and it was good! The watermelon there was also the best watermelon I've ever had in my LIFE. I miss the fruit in Tonga. Utah fruit isn't all that good once you've had Tongan fruit.

After our second dinner at Sandy Beach, we prepared ourselves to go swimming with Humpback Whales the next day...